R U OK? What to do when you see a person is struggling.

This Thursday is 'R U OK?' Day. It is a day about taking a moment to check in with the people in our life and making sure they are fine.

It is a day to remind us that those who suffer the most in our society can go unseen, that debilitating mental health can take many forms and may not always be obvious to us. It reminds us that no one is an island; no one is alone; we are all human and we can all feel loneliness.

Sometimes all it takes is someone to ask a question, to just be present and listen to our troubles for us to feel like there may be a path away from depression and trauma.  It is that seed that can blossom into a better life and a road to opportunity. A seed that can transform an individual thinking about suicide to seek a better life.

According to data from the Queensland Suicide Register 2020 saw 791 suspected suicides, slightly higher than 2019’s 757. Because it can take years to get solid data on these kinds of statistics, we can only speculate that it is probably similar for last year as well. 

Initiatives like ‘R U OK?’ seek to build awareness around what we can all do to lower that number. It doesn’t require a degree in therapy, it just requires us all to take the time to notice the people in our lives and reach out.

‘R U OK?’s 4-step process can provide a good place to start:

1. Ask
Just take a moment to check-in. Maybe a co-worker has been acting odd lately or seems quieter than usual. Maybe they are fine or maybe they aren’t fine but don’t feel comfortable talking to you about it. The point is you noticed. For someone feeling alone and detached the fact that you noticed could be the seed they need to start to reverse their downward spiral.

2. Listen
If they do speak up, listen. You don’t have to offer solutions or give them advice. A non-judgmental ear offers them a place to vent and possibly work through some issues themselves. The greatest gift you can offer is your empathy and a willingness to understand their situation.

3. Encourage Action
Support them. Perhaps they have been avoiding a major issue in their life. What can you do to help? What can they do themselves to help their circumstance? Often, they may probably already have the answers they are looking for and you just offer a springboard for their ideas. It might be that they need to consult a professional or go see someone about their problems. If you can get them to reach out to medical professional then you might have just saved a life. 

4. Check-in
Follow up. See where they are at with their mental health. See what actions they have undertaken since you last talked to them. Let them know you care about the outcome.

Most of the time it’s a simple gesture that can go a long way. However, if their situation involves more extreme circumstances like abuse or domestic violence then we recommend imploring the individual to get in contact with authorities about their situation. 

If you would like to support victims of domestic violence in another way and have an old working phone you don’t use, drop it into your nearest King IT store.

King IT donates second-hand phones to DV Safe Phone, which puts phones in the hands of victims of domestic abuse. Your old phone may end up being pivotal in offering a victim of domestic abuse a lifeline or an escape plan from an abusive situation.

For further information on DV Safe Phones head to https://dvsafephone.org/
For more tips on talking to a depressed co-worker or a friend, head to https://www.ruok.org.au/how-to-ask

If you yourself are experiencing symptoms of Depression and suicidal thoughts please head to websites like https://www.beyondblue.org.au/ where you can chat on a phone, online, or through email with someone who is committed to your well-being.

Last but not least, a friendly reminder to everyone out there:

Make sure you are ok!